The Proud Green Beast of Konoha

Hello! You've reached the voicemail of Maito Gai! Please leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can!

((OOC: If you need to get a hold of me or Gai, you can do it here! Please mark IC or OOC in the subject line, though! ♥ If you'd rather get hold of me on AIM, my name is Infinity Pikachu!))

[A rather ugly, burnt orange clawed hand comes into view as the video feed turns on; an oni seems to have decided to film one of its fellows messing with Gai, who has evidently just finished putting a meal of onigiri together. Said oni has knocked a row of pots off a shelf to shower them onto Gai; he flounders for a moment under the assault, staggering against the counter and pulling off a rather large one that had fallen squarely over his head.]

Now, where did you....? Ah!

[Gai spots the oni clutching a small clay jug of sake, struggling to flap off with it; the thing is a vivid green, not quite a foot long, and doing impressively well in trying to carry something larger than itself. He chases it into the living room, where a place at the table is already set; the oni holding his Hitomi hops off the counter and follows, chittering loudly. He manages to catch the culprit soon enough, one hand hanging onto the oni's arm, the other wresting away the jug it held.]

You should be more careful, taking something so heavy and fragile! If you wanted attention, my friend, then you need only to ask for it! Do you see?

[Surprisingly, he looks more stern than angry, even as he opens the jug with one hand and pours some into a glass; he slides it forward, setting the oni down in front of it. The oni looks from Gai, to the sake, and back again, ad finally decides that the allure of alcohol is stronger than the desire to continue tormenting a human; it scuttles forward, awkwardly half-tilting the glass towards itself, half-lowering its head into it to start lapping at the sake.]

[There's a peculiar squeak from the oni holding the camera, almost curious, and it drops the thing with a clatter. The Hitomi now shows a skewed angle of the scene as it goes to join its fellow. Gai smiles a little to see the creatures suddenly so calm, and disappears briefly into the kitchen. He returns with the plate of onigiri and another two glasses to fill. He sits down to eat soon enough, and the Hitomi shuts off on the scene of him petting the first oni, and offering an onigiri to the second, battered but cheerful and enjoying at least a temporary peace with some newfound friends.]


((OOC: GAI ISN'T DEAD. His mun just sucks terribly with him lately. DX Thankfully, he'll be entirely focused on taking care of Kakashi at present, but I thought he deserved at least one backdated entry to show that he was around and not comatose or anything.))

Wheeeeee, placeholder~

[Gai is lounging on a cushion in his living room, laughing cheerfully and grinning at the Hitomi. He looks like he's in a really good mood. Unsurprising, if you think about it....]

Yukari-san! The results of the challenge have been decided, and Gojyo, Iruka, my Eternal Rival, and myself have concluded that it was a draw!

[Gai is in the bedroom, Hitomi propped up so he can be seen, fully dressed and posing dramatically; he flings a finger forward to point at the Hitomi, puffed up as he always is before a challenge.]

( Eternal Rivalry: Double Dating Edition )

((OOC: Gai is about three years old here, and looks a surprising amount like tiny!Lee, complete with a braid and bangs and stuff. Gai's dad looks.... well, an awful lot like Gai does now, though the eyes aren't the same, and he also wears a nice, long braid and bangs. Oh, and no spandex for either of them. XD))

( And they were just the same. Just the same. )

[Gai wakes up crying. It hardly seems to concern him, though; he's smiling even as he opens his eyes, not bothering to wipe the tears away. His eyes and expression are soft and warm, unfocused in a way that few people, if any, have gotten to see. He doesn't move to get up, or even sit up; he just stares into space in the general direction of the Hitomi, letting the tears fall. His voice, when it finally is heard, is uncharacteristically quiet and gentle.]

Tou-san.... thank you. I still remember. Thank you for coming to see me again.

[It is, after all, an appropriate time to remember it, Gai thinks. With war on the horizon, he's glad for the comfort, and knows they'll all need to remember how to cry soon enough. They might all need to remember the dead, and how to honor them and their sacrifices, their lives and their memories. Finally, he reaches out to turn off the Hitomi, pulling his quilt tighter around himself.]

(OOC: This is when Gai was about 25 or 26; Neji & Co. would definitely be able to recognize that he was teaching them by that point.)

( I like to think I'm just enough. )

[Gai only half wakes up, groggy and looking far too pleased with himself. He sighs happily and rolls over, ignoring the Hitomi still recording him as he goes back to sleep; anyone who continues to watch will get returned to the dream and get to experience a nice, full-length, sickeningly sweet sex dream between Gai and the kunoichi.]

[....And just for the record, this dream does definitively show just how "youthful" Gai's Most Youthful Endowment really is.]

[The video feed starts in Gai's living room, with his Hitomi obviously propped up somewhere; it opens to him striking a pose against the background of an open window, haloed gloriously in the golden afternoon light. Hand on his hip, he thrusts his finger forward, pointing dramatically at the Hitomi.]

( THE EPIC CHALLENGE! )

( A life lived with honor in all aspects.... )

( YOUTH! )